My kids are the reason I got my Autism and ADHD diagnosis!

These days it's becoming more and more common for parents who are undergoing the process of having their child screened for some sort of neurodiversity eg. ADHD or ASD, come out of the journey with a diagnosis for not only their child but also themselves! The reason this is becoming more common, is because the research and understanding of many neurodiverse conditions such as autism is growing. This means that as a parent is going through the screening process with their child and learning about all the different elements and diagnosis criteria's for these conditions, they start to realise that they themselves relate and experience the different aspects and symptoms to those conditions.

This though wasn't the case for me! Becoming a mother is what started my long journey to getting my diagnosis, it was hitting rock bottom and severely struggling with motherhood that started the process of me seeking the help of medical professionals and ending up years later with an ASD-2 and ADHD diagnosis. So for this I owe everything to my kids! I'm so grateful I had kids as young as I did, because it's given the opportunity to have time to better understand myself and live a more happy and authentic life!

I had my eldest son when I was just shy of turning 21, he was definitely a surprise but a priceless gift non the less! I then had my next son 2.5 years after that and our daughter 2.5 years after him. Every child I had the worse my mental state got. Throughout the years I saw many medical specialists and tried many different therapies, all of which never seemed to work. I was first diagnosed with post-natal depression because I mean I was a new mum so that's the obvious answer!

But after many years, many opinions and a lot of trial and error with medications, I finally crossed paths with the most amazing psychiatrist, who was finally able to give me a proper diagnosis and explain why everything had been so hard, and unfortunately will always will be hard to a degree.

So what was different between her and all the other failed attempts at help prior to her? She listened! She asked the hard questions, she gathered information about my experiences in my childhood, she sought out answers and feedback from my loved ones. Long story short she cared!

One of the things I've always admired and respected from this amazing woman is, she never just told me what the diagnosis was. She provided her opinions on what she believed my diagnosis was and presented information as to why she believed this was the diagnosis. She then continued to provide me with information to go home and read for myself to see what my thoughts on the diagnosis were and if I felt it was an accurate representation of how I was feeling and experiencing life.

This woman asked for feedback to make sure she accurately understood what I had told her! That day, she empowered me, that day, she reminded me that I know my body best, and working with her ever since has been one of the best decision I have made to date!

So how does this come back to my kids being responsible for finally receiving answers and a diagnosis you ask?

Well parenting is no easy journey for anyone, but when you have a sensory processing disorder, a lack of understanding around emotions, emotional dysregulation, executive function disorder and many other factors, parenting is a minefield!

Coping mechanisms and strategies I had before kids were gone, I no longer had enough time available to fully take a break or avoid sensory overwhelm. The day I became a mum I lost more control, which is something that as an autistic we strive so damn hard to have.

The day I became a mum it became increasingly harder to keep that mask on that I had worked so hard creating, forcing cracks to show and traits harder to hide. It's because of these cracks that I was now on a long and often frustrating journey to work out why everything had always felt so hard.

It's because of my kids that I sought out help and kept fighting for answers. My kids have always loved me fiercely and shown me patience's and forgiveness in the times I wasn't perfect. My kids are what inspire me daily to gain a better understanding of myself so I can soak up and enjoy all these precious moments in life.

It's because of my kids I finally got diagnosed. They might never understand just how much they've changed my life for the better but I will never stop trying to show them just how much my life has improved because of them.